Anglican Prayer Beads Amidst My Fists & Flowers

One of the first spiritual practices I adopted when I left mainstream evangelicalism was the use of a prayer rope two or three times a day to center myself and refocus my attention on what really mattered. I’ll admit, I was enamored with the desert fathers and monkish sensibilities when I started — don’t we always wish we were the opposite of what we actually are?

I used an Eastern Orthodox prayer rope because I wanted to practice my breathing along with the newly discovered “Jesus Prayer.” The practice slowly transformed me over time, and soon I found myself praying this ancient prayer throughout the day whenever I’d begin to feel anxiety or other challenges get the best of me.

A few years ago, as I really began to settle into Anglicanism, I began adapting my practice by using a beautiful set of Anglican Prayer Beads I purchased of a lovely old woman in the UK. They are blue, black, and silver, and they remind me of favorite kind of weather, when the sun peeks through clouds and the air is ripe with a coming rain that you can smell on a gentle breeze.

For the next year, I used the traditional Anglican Rosary. I appreciated the rhythm of prayers. I was still able to practice my beloved Jesus Prayer, but the addition of the other prayers also allowed me to feel like I was on a spiritual journey each time I prayed with their assistance.

Over the last month, I’ve begun doing something new, and for me, it seems like a new level of intimacy in my use of prayer beads — I’ve developed my own journey through these rhythmic prayers, one that is patterned after my own journey and borrowing heavily from some of my most prominent spiritual influences and scripture.

I thought I’d share it with everyone, not so that they would necessarily use “mine” — because mine, most likely, isn’t special to anyone but me — but that you might develop your own, or dare to begin adopting some other variation

But before I jump into the prayers themselves, I want to spend just a bit of time talking about the “how” and “why.”

HOW I BEGAN CONSTRUCTING THE PRAYERS OF MY PERSONAL ROSARY

When I talk about “fists & flowers,” I’m speaking to the allegory I’ve used to describe my faith.

I grew up where the southern coal fields of West Virginia meet the northern rivers and steel mills that once put that coal to use in the creation of black clouded mill town industrial centers. I was spiritually influenced by both — a faith that was equally formed in the shadow of union strikes as it was the steepled crosses of any amount of the various churches of both hill and hollow, catholic and charismatic.

I like to say that I try to live a faith that troubles the comfortable (the fists) as much as it comforts the troubled (the flowers).

I wanted my daily prayer regimen to act as spiritual practice (Orthopraxy) that constantly reinforced my spiritual beliefs (Orthodoxy).

And so this series of prayers acts as a reminder that reinforces not only a reminder that I am equally dependent on the mercy and grace of God as I am responsible to use my gifts to bring the Kingdom of God here to earth, even and especially if that mean sacrificing my own life and desires.

AN ANGLICAN ROSARY OF FISTS & FLOWERS

CROSS
In the Name of God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit — three in one, one in three, Amen. (St. Patrick)

INVITATORY
Lord’s Prayer

BAPTISMAL (not the traditional name for this extra bead)
No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Your cannot serve God and mammon. (Jesus)

CRUCIFORM
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (Jesus)

WEEK
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. (John Crysostom)

LAST CRUCIFORM
God, of your goodness, give me yourself;
you are enough for me, and anything less that I could ask for would not do you full honor.
And if I ask anything that is less, I shall always lack something,
but in you alone I have everything’. (St. Julian of Norwich)

Continue to teach me to desire nothing, to refuse nothing, and to live you, Jesus! (St. Francis de Sales)

RESURRECTION (not the traditional name of this extra bead)
By Your hearth
Am I whole, and home, and safe.
Lord, let me remember that its warmth is not for myself alone, but for all who are weary. (NDB)

BENEDICTION (Last Invitatory)
The Lord bless me and keep me; the Lord make his face shine upon me and be gracious to me; the Lord turn his face toward me and give me peace. (Aaronic Blessing)

LAST CROSS
You hath shewed me, a man, what is good; and what doth my Lord require of me, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God. (Prophet Micah)

My God, I give you this day. I offer you all of the good that I shall do and I promise to accept, for love of you, all of the difficulty that I shall meet. Help me to conduct myself during this day in a manner pleasing to you. Amen. (St. Francis de Sales)

SO, WHAT NOW?

Ultimately, it’s up to you what you want to do with this. Maybe you’ve been looking for something like this. Maybe, you’ve never been introduced to prayer beads. Maybe you thought the Rosary was just for our Roman Catholic brothers and sisters.

Here is what I do know. This has NOT stopped me from talking to God. This is NOT the vain repetition I was taught that it was. For me, this is the first step to our call to “pray without ceasing.” It has built a rhythm of prayer into my day that is missed when I neglect it. I can feel its absence in my breath and my bones.

This practice sets a daily foundation upon which all of my other prayer and Kingdom work finds its footing.

So whether you only memorize the Jesus Prayer, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner,” or whether you go out and purchase or make your own prayer beads, I couldn’t recommend this practice more. Shalom, friends.

Originally published at https://www.storyofndblake.com on September 22, 2023.